纯粹发泄~

1。不要以为你有意隐瞒的事情别人都不会知道。。这世界上巧合是很多的。

如果有那么一天我知道了，请不要怪我一时之气把你删除。哪怕你我或许不可能有交谈的一天。即使是一面之交或十年之交，都会令我很失望。

启示：不要把人；事；物，看得太重。

2。有时候觉得我一点都不好。至少对某一些人是这样的。。不知道怎么解释，总之抱歉。真心的。。

启示：好像不应该对每一个人都过于关心。是时候衡量一下位置和心中的重量。

3。我是一个值得深交的朋友吗？自问。。。我犹豫。。不管怎样，我对朋友的心依然没变。可能聊天和陪你们的时间会少了点。。但，和你们做朋友都是真心的。

启示：应该好好管理分配自己的时间和金钱了吧！

算了，随便好了。反正我怎样发泄，那些无名氏都不回浏览到这边。即使真的巧合给读到，他们也不会知道是他啦！我很少恨人。拜托不要让我恨你，一旦恨了就很难改变那受损的形象！！！

30.12.10 1.41am

“久”后心声 ~~

现在是2010年十二月二十三日的凌晨一点零六分，我一个人戴着耳机听着一系列的歌。。感觉好舒服。。突然间好喜欢hebe的某一些新歌。特别是他最猖狂还有我寂寞寂寞就好。虽然它不是我现在的心声，但是那感觉是曾相识；好熟悉。不懂为什么，有时候听歌，刚开始听时觉得还好。但当我真正静下来认真听时，那感觉真的好不一样。突然觉得那是一首不错的歌而且藏着有意义的歌词。

这几晚，我失眠了。。或许我真的调整不了我习惯了许久的睡眠时间，又或许。。。我不够累。

但没有改变的是我爱在深夜时听着自己喜欢的歌曲，跟着那舒服的旋律拨动着；好好享受在那歌声当中。好久没有这样过，那感觉依然存在。真的好棒！！

好朦哦~~呵呵~因为想要有个甜蜜有安眠的好梦，所以小喝了几杯。。头脑真的要停止操作了耶！心跳好快哦！ 哈哈哈~是时候躲进我温暖的被窝了吧！

晚安咯！再写下去可能就会胡言乱语了。呵呵~待续。。。

依然不会忘记我的。。。熊！！嘻嘻~我要抱你睡觉咯~~

好帅哟！！！

copy自某电视剧：

男孩因为妒忌，情急之下握起了女孩的手，向大家宣布：

她，是我的女人！！！

哇~~帅到不行！！！呵呵呵~~~

加油，第一章~

说不出的想，都藏在心中~

不是因为习惯，而是因为逼不得已。

要学会快乐的生活，不受环境影响。。

加油*(>,<)*

想和你说谢谢。。。因为你让我更了解我自己。我自己很清楚知道我最大的弱点就是你。有时候想想会很好笑。因为一直以来都觉得自己不会这样。直到遇到你，让我非得从新认识自己。因为在乎，所以你说的我都会听，放在心上，甚至尝试去改进。虽然我不知道我是否可以利用这个假期来改进，但我一定会尝试。就算改一点点也好，总好过在原地踏步。

我想我是了解你的。只是我一直希望更多。人是很贪心的。。如果这一点点贪心都没有，那还算什么？因该很危险吧？！所以，这也是为什么你向我要求所谓的报告，我都不会生气，反而还蛮开心的。很幼稚吧？！呵呵~

有时真的很想让你多了解一点，让你知道我不是无理取闹。

有时真的很想什么都不说，你也能知道我在想什么。

有时真的很想你能知道，我有多在乎你。

有时一切都很简单，我要的就是在乎和关心。

忙碌的生活，总是会让人透不过气来。

那时候我有空，你没空；所以我想多了。

那时候我忙我的考试，你忙你的东西；所以我又想多了。

还好有你，我知道应该怎么做。

所有一切的一切，谢谢你还有对不起。

我会加油的！

~~~想~~~

H.A.P.P.Y HOLIDAY...

Finally, I'd finished my final exam on thurs. So means I'm now holiday!!! yipeeeee~~

Well, actually I don't have the wow wow feeling for this holiday. HOHO~~

Anyhow, I still enjoyed my holiday started with an outing n d last outing with B2G feat mc. froggy for d year 2010. Dinner + movie together straight after my last paper. Geng geng^^

Oh friday~~ here u are, my 1st day of holiday. yup. attended gathering for my primary std.6 cls.

Met 5ppls there. Wow... 10yrs no see but still can chit-chat till like that. Geng! Anyway, I'm happy to have a meet with them. Luckily those who attended are those I remembered. If not... haha~

Movie + dinner with them. I wonder why we can chat non-stop and even laugh non-stop during our gathering for about 5 hrs. But really thank you guys for your jokes and made me enjoyed my 1st day of holiday.

Saturday~~ erm.. out again in d afternoon. with... them to attend another gathering for std 1-3. But not my class. We are just accompany another 2 girls (suppose to be one, another one not so willing to go but no choice^^). Haha~ this gathering funny lo.. The 3 new comers who ask for this gathering, I've no idea who are they.. Paisae.. Out of 3, I only know 1 of them. So at first, we 6 ppls talk ours and they talk theirs. Due to weird-ness, we combine table but still same thing happened. Luckily at last we still be able to talk together. But of course not that much compared to yesterday. We are not close at all!! Haha~

So now, they requested to have one more gathering next week. Hopefully can meet more peoples. I'm the planner so this coming gathering, as requested. Haizzz... Anyway, I knew my holiday life wont that blank & bored with their jokes. Looking forward to meet you guys again.

At last, Happy holiday to you guys and Happy holiday to me! =))

想-ing~~~

你羡慕我的，因为你不是我；

所以不了解当中的一切。

但或许你不知道，

我羡慕你的，同样的因为我不是你；

只凭表面所看到的下定论。

可是，

我真正羡慕的是那简单的处事方法。

只因为---我办不到。。。

怪。怪。的。

好想要有一个角落，让我很有安全感的躲在那释放一切紧绷得让我不舒服的。。。

好想在考试前好好发泄一下。。。

我有时间吗？？

懊恼~~

呵呵~~想。想。想^^

突然觉得人活着最重要的是活得开心，一切不要想这么多。。

我的piggy,你听见了吗？？

追求自己所要的真的很重要。

总好过飘浮不定的无法定下来。

有时候，你看见的或许和真实情况有差距。。

所以，一切不要想太多。

见一步，走一步吧！！！

你始终都要过的~~

大家加油哦！！

我敬爱的~~

爸爸，

生日快乐！！

三年了，依然很清晰的记住您的模样。。很棒吧？！你女儿的记忆好好哦！

我从来不曾忘记过您的生日哦！乖吧~~

我的老爸，请允许我在这边肉麻的向您说声：“我爱你！”

真的哦！我最棒的爸爸。。。好想念您。。。。

您最不放心的女儿上^^

（我长大咯~~）

Nice melody~~

It's come back to me again!!!

Feels great=))

warm & sweet if people sang those songs to me^^

I might marry him~~

oops, kidding kidding><

hehe

I'm back after months^^

you are just too understand me.. don't know why, somethings that I never tell anyone, I'll automatically tell you before you ask me.. Funny huh?? The feeling after tell you is just too nice.. I felt relax.. Your things, I knew quite a lots and somethings I found it myself.. Hehe~~

Clever huh?? God want me to know that. That's why create so many chances for me to understand and thus analyze the situation.. So, since already like that.. No choice la, you have to tell me everything.. Hahaha

About my stuffs.. You understand the situation very well I think... No matter how, you're the one who know my thinking well. I believed. Just like the previous me, never change... Always like to think lots and keep things to myself. Not all but some.. I really don't know how to say out and who should I say to. I don't want they all know so many things about me.. Not secure at all. I don't want people think that I'm so weak and lack of confidence. I love myself very much.. Love my face very much.. What I want is to be perfect. I want to show everyone how strong I'm in handling my stuffs. I don't want people worry about me or even look down on me. That's suffer girl... Too strong huh?? should not behave like that huh??

About the things that I told you that day... Is it I'm too kind?? too good?? Always think on behalf of people that I not close to or should I say an unknown to me. But yet I'll care about it and worry about it not because of the particular person but another person.. Sadly, nobody will know as i never plan to tell anyone about it. You're the special one.. Maybe one day I'll tell someone.. But I'm sure not much people will know about it. I'm just too care huh?? I'm used to it already. Don't know since when start to be a detective in checking all the things. So that's why I know quite many things before people know it. Just a matter that I cant prove to you all only.. It's actually a type of responsible right?

About me myself, I can say I'm on the way improving.. in many aspects. I know which aspect should I speed up and I know how low is my percentage that I told you that day.. But trust me, it's really consider as high to me.. Nobody ever exceeds that levels oh~~ Just my expectation too high only. By the way, time factor as well. I realized, time really important to everyone in completing their own tasks. So while improving, I can only wait until it up itself. Sometimes, things not really can achieve if you pushed too much~~ Try to slow down and think carefully, you might realized something that you never thought of.. It's true oh~

It's weird at first you feel it but once you used to it.. You'll be fine. Time factor again!!! ARGH!!!

It's just too simple to describe your feeling as I experienced before~~

What you want and what you don't...

Actually we know what we want but due to some reasons, we will somehow not really sure about it. Well, I'm sure you will face your real feeling one day, when everything comes to you without any notice given and the only thing you can do is accept. That's all.

explanation?? important *-)

Sometimes, explanation meant a lot but sometimes it's not..
When you get ready to ask questions, at the same time you should prepare yourself to get whatever feedback from the person.
Can you bear the consequences of asking those questions. If the answer is something can made you happy, I think it should be worth enough for you to ask the question. But, how if it's not??
Well, you might be sad if the answer is not the answer that you expected to hear.. But I'm sure you'll feel better no matter what the answer is. Even though it's a lie or what.. At least you got something.. better than none.
Since he want to behave like this, let it be. Let himself realize everything if he felt he comfortable with..
I don't think we'll able to change someone's mind but we do able to change our behaviors and actions.
As long as you know what're you doing and happy with it. Keep it up.. Smile and no worries^^

Me, myself don't know since when.. Alr lazy to do explanation.. If people willing to listen about your explanation and trust you. It's great! But if it's not.. What for to give such long explanantion?? Waste your energy and patient..

Anyway, explain when you think it's needed and feel better with~~
stay peace & cheers~~ to you, me and ...... everyone =))

想。享

家家有本难念的经，就如同你我面对着不同的问题一样棘手~~
没有解决不了的事情。
请相信，只要你愿意；只要你有恒心，就一定行！！！
当事情雨过天晴时，请回头想想当时面对的情景。。
你会发现这一切是多么的简单。
你一定会觉得欣慰，还有非一般的满足感~~
加油！
面对问题时，请跟自己说一声：“加油”来打打气哦！
快乐万岁！！！

What I want to say? *hidden msg or meaning inside* YOU KNOW??

What's wrong with me??
Too free?
That's nothing to do with me..
Why I felt so different this time?
It's weird! Really weird..
Dare not to think much.
Behave the way that I'm happy with..
That's enough.
And... that's what I want.
Hopefully I can get everything that I want.
It's simple yet complicated~
Anyhow, predictions that made by you and me..
happened in two different situation.
Time will prove to us either it's true or the other way round.
This time, the very first time, I don't have any confidence for the prediction that I made.
Girl, trust me..
It's true! I swear~~
Whatever it is, I do hope that we can learn something there.
And, from so much situations that I'd faced, I did realized something..
It is the importance of our friends..
Friends, I would like to tell you all...
I really appreciate the friendship between us.
No matter how, I'll still treat you all as my friends forever.
Hopefully same goes to you all.
As, I don't want to lose anyone of you.
~~Friendship Forever~~

Really fed up with the web!!!!!!

caused me on fire!!! STUPID!!!!!!

你找到你生存的定义吗？？

你知道吗？？*特别给一些对我有疑问的朋友*

如果是一个人的片面之词就能令你对另一个人的观点有所改变，那你未免太肤浅了？！
有时候即使是当事人，也未必可以100%的相信!
有些东西不是不做解释。。
你不问，我却自动说不会很奇怪吗？
我解释，你可能说：解释等于掩饰。
我保持沉默，你说：不说话是默认吗？？
我：。。。。。。还可以说什么吗？
既然在问我之前，心中就有那么肯定的答案，
那干嘛还问？ 我的回答会改变些什么吗？
如果大伙儿说的话能动摇你对我的信任，那，我还蛮失望的。。
至少我知道我的言行举止到哪里，至少我没有对不起任何人。
至少让我知道，还有信任我的人。。=((

我值得被相信吗？

想通了=X

宁静的两三天。。。
原来，我可以这么过。
没事找事做，看完一部偶像剧，还有思考着。。
想了很多以前没想过的。。
厚~~可怕的嘞！！！
嗯嗯。。我会勇敢的！
请相信我，我会加油的。
第一次想要这么做。
不是冲动，是真的想这样做才做。
因为这样会让我更有信心！
我要做一个有信心的人！！！
哪怕要从零开始，克服一切，战胜一切，我都不可以退缩！！！
加油~加油~加油！！！

你知道被一个人担心着，挂念着，疼爱着的幸福吗？？

言~~

有时候，我无意中说了某些话，而你又没把它放在心上；
一段时间后的某一天，你要求我再重复一遍，我。。。或许不再 说了。。


同一个问题，在不同时候问我或许会有不一样的答案。。。


答案之所以改变，是因为我想通了；习惯了；看开了，
要么就是我再也不是以前的那个‘我’。


现实就是这样强人所难。。。
时间也不过如此，逼着我们不停地在改变，
也都不停下来让我们喘口气！


可恶~~~~~~

To: unknown@@

Treatment, it's a kind of thing that can influence people's mood.
If you keep on thinking about the treatment he/she gave you, I dare you,
you care him/her.. It's something natural yet troublesome..
But this doesn't mean that the care are always link with the feeling stuffs.
Sometimes, it's just as easy as ABC, but sometimes, it's not.
It's just too bad if you tried to change your treatment to people that you care..
If you think that the changes will be something good to him/her, you're wrong, at least in this case.
Did you ask him/her before you decided?? Did you ever discuss with him/her regarding the problem?
You're just want to do something that can make you feel comfortable and safe. Which word can I use to describe you other than selfish? You're just care about yourself.. Don't you?
Even though I don't know you, but I know the situation, understand and even know the feeling well.. Surprise right? But you will never get the chance to read this post! That's why I can scold as much as I want, on behave of the people you'd hurt, deeply...
Anyhow, I know your difficulties in doing such decision. It was suffering..
Although you'd change back to the normal treatment.. But the wounds you caused, will leave a scar deep inside his/her heart, forever, as a souvenir of knowing you.
But but but, he/she felt better with the normal treatment compared with the one which forced him/her to learn how to become an actor.. Even though he/she need to confront with those situation, he/she really don't want to make things worse. He/she just want to be himself/herself. That's it. Very simple... Just you are the one who always said something weird and made him/her think n think.. If you already know which side should you stay with, keep it please. Don't simply promise or give hope to others. Promises are not as easy as you think. Be honest and responsible, at least to yourself and your behavior..
Time will show you the hints.

*watashiwa too free so help u to scold the problem maker and share something here... Hopefully you understand the situation and get the answer soon la.. Gambatte neh~~~ me mentally support you!*

Sometimes, it's all because of CARE~~~
and I SWEAR,
I care=))

学习-ing^^

我在学习~~
学习着不同的东西，让自己长大一些^^
谢谢那些给我机会学习和接受挑战的人。
没有你们，我不会明白当中的道理；
更不能够面对更大的挑战！
我一定会努力说服自己，勇敢地面对所有事情。
不要畏缩，不要恐惧。
因为最大的敌人，永远是自己！
要战胜别人，就应该先战胜自己。
加油加油~~
不要向任何事低头！！！

原来，这样也会感觉到痛~~~><

lalala... *stay happy*

wohoo~~~ Thanks to you, I able to persuade myself to think positive & don't treat everything as an important thing in my life!
The lessons that you taught me: don't trust anyone for 100% & don't hope for everything~~~

I'm just curious... why I'll check my blog once i on9??
& the reason found-->> It's all about the blog's traffic...

And I wonder who're the one who always visit my blog, and he's/she's the one who concern about me =))

父亲节快乐 。。。

从失去您的那天起，我似乎已经忘记了这个日子的存在。。。
没能再为您准备礼物，
没能再为您献上我的一份心意，
更没有办法再当面对您说声“父亲节快乐”。
我能做的也只有把想对您说的话写下来。。。

我最爱最爱的爸爸：

父亲节快乐！对我而言，您是这世上最棒的父亲。
您的照顾与疼爱，我这辈子都不会忘记。。。
想告诉您，您已住在我心里与脑海里最深处。
不曾离去；不会忘记，只是成为永远都无法再拥有和接触的记忆~~
我会好好的保留您留给我那十九年的宝贵回忆。
papa~~~我爱你。。。永远。永远。

您唯一的女儿上

胡言乱语*pai sae*

1. 好想知道原因。。。
2. 好混乱。。。
3. 好不舒服。。。
4. 好担心。。。
5. 好没用。。。
6. 不想变得会依赖人。。。
7. 不想长大。。。
8. 不想改变我不想改变的东西。。。
9. 不想胡思乱想。。。
   
10. 我真的真的很在意一切的一切！！！！！！
    

sharing~~~

• painting is just another way of keeping a diary.

Pablo Picasso
1881-1973

• 寂寞不是最痛苦的，想像才是最痛苦的。。。

• 失眠相等于在枕头上流浪。
  

好累，好累。
突然觉得这样活着好累。
真的好累~~~

是时候休息了，晚安=]

凌晨两点钟 =((

我好像想太多了。。。=='''
或许可以再自在一点。
想做什么就真的可以做到吗？
我怎么办不到？
要做一件其实很简单的事竟然会想了好几个小时都没做。。
看来之前的阴影依然保留着。
我还得加油啊！
不该记住的事，可以删除掉吗？
到底，我还是不能放心的相信人。
唉~~
我好像没有必要交代所有事情。。。

我的天空=))

无聊的傍晚，在叹气的时候无意中抬头望向今天的天空，
我最爱的天空颜色，浅蓝再加上橘红色和白色参杂的云朵，
好漂亮！这种漂亮；我今天才发现竟然有种凄美的感觉~~
这种感觉有点像是孤寂；温柔再带点满足的混合体。
在这么棒的景色下沉思真的很棒！
头脑想的东西都好像在瞬间变得好有艺术感。
所有的问题在那瞬间都抛到九霄云外。
我当时要的就只是纯粹的把所有的事情放下，好好的欣赏眼前那一片天空~~
不知道这样抬着头看着有多久？！
从明亮的天色到逐渐暗淡的天色，我才发现天空的颜色转变可以用来形容人类的善变。。。
所有的改变似乎都只发生在一瞬间~~
说来就来，说去就去。
没有任何原因和警告。

但是如果可以选择，我想我会毫不犹豫的选择天空的色彩变化也不要体会人类的善变。

哪怕只是那么的一次，都会让我痛不欲生。。。

你学会闭上眼睛了吗？？

你会在适当的时候闭眼睛吗？
这里的闭眼睛是属于抽象的。。
当你有不想看，不想管的人；事；物时，你会假装看不到吗？
这样闭着，你会快乐一点吗？
或许，这是我们拿来逃避现实的一种方法。
其实，这未免是件坏事。。
或许这样会舒服些。
但，问题能否解决还得靠自己去面对。

如果身边的朋友学着闭眼睛，怎么办？
如果学会了会快乐些，那我也只好说加油！。。
如果学会了还是在痛苦中度过，面对去解决吧！
说出来会舒服些。。。
能和‘有问题’的对方讨论，找出解决方案，才是最好的方法。

认识你这么久，虽然很少见面，但了解的并不少。。。
真的很希望看到，感觉到的你是快乐的；幸福的~~
加油哦！
记得我是可以跟你分享任何事情的朋友！
和你们的友谊都建立于第一天认识你们开始。
没有忘记我曾经说过：“只要一天是朋友，就是永远的朋友。”

从你那拿了几句来写的，分享一下！ 嘻嘻XD

*看了朋友的部落，突然有构思写的。。。朋友，这只是我的看法，你看着办咯！=））*


当你说：“单身真好，你是发自内心的吗？”
我想这世上没有人想要孤独的生活。
人，是需要陪伴的。。。
没有人可以自己一个人生活。
如果你说你可以，那请问：“你有所谓的朋友，家人，或同事吗？”
如果有，那抱歉，你并不是所谓的‘一个人’。
其实,你并不是喜欢单身。
你只是想要在适当的时候有自由，有属于自己的空间。
试想想，你要的或许不是单身的生活，而是偶尔的自由~~
我相信有时候你也会感到孤独，甚至害怕当你身边的朋友们都有另一半时，你要面对的空虚感。
如果你真的喜欢单身，你就不会懊恼那所谓的男女关系。

暧昧，很好是因为它不需要负上任何的责任？!
对，暧昧没有责任。
因为它没有相爱的证据。。
但是散了就能忘掉吗？？
如果可以，你就不会回想当时的情景；
如果可以，你就不会有遗憾；
如果可以，你就不会在心里刻上疤痕。。
其实，暧昧是一个不好的行为。
它只是一个逃避责任的工具。
只是人类都沉醉于暧昧那不真实的感觉中。。。
当你苏醒时，留下的也只是影子和别人看不见的疤痕。
它，不会有走过的痕迹。
因为，你们不曾开始过~~~

p/s: 写完后读读，发现我似乎在和‘你’进行着辩论和研讨会。。。=='''

一起做过以上十样的是一辈子的朋友*sharing*

1、 睡在过同一张床
2、 穿过一样的衣服
3、 互穿过对方的衣服
4、 自己逛自己的，买回来的东西竟然一样
5、 一起哭过、笑过
6、 一起吃饭、喝酒、K歌
7、 一起出去旅游
8、 一到节假日，一定会出去庆祝/玩
9、 彼此羡慕对方
10、互相认识至少5年
11、都喜欢拿对方开玩笑
12、家里人都知道她/他的名字
13、遇到困难，总是互帮互助
14、吵过嘴，干过仗，但依然很铁儿
15、难受伤心的时候第一个想和对方倾诉
16、一个眼神或一个小举动就知道她/他在想什么


只有朋友才会这样说----【亲爱的，我们一定要有几个

这样的朋友】

只有朋友才会这样说：你怎么这么烦人啊

只有朋友才会这样说：别跟我臭得瑟

只有朋友才会这样说：生病了还到处走，想死啊

只有朋友才会这样说：我才懒得管你呢

只有朋友才会这样说：你怎么能跟他在一起

只有朋友才会这样说：你俩不合适

只有朋友才会这样说：分了更好，免得你更伤心

只有朋友才会这样说：你这么做值么

只有朋友才会这样说：别再那做梦了

只有朋友才会这样说：有我在，不用怕~

朋友 我们一起开心，开心的牵着手走在马路上吃着冰淇淋

朋友 我们一起难过，难过的心情第一个找到彼此诉说伤痛

朋友 我们一起分享，分享那恋爱的甜蜜分手的痛苦

朋友 我们一起哭泣，哭泣着拿着酒杯麻醉失恋的悲伤

朋友 我们一起感受，感受着彼此生活的一切一切 ！

不要再因为一件小事而去任性

不要再因为一句话而去怀疑他对你的真诚

不要当自己被外面的残酷璀璨的遍体鳞伤时，才想到有他的存在！

送给我所有的朋友，无论你们现在是幸福的，甜蜜的，伤心地，郁闷的，记着都有朋友在！

source: facebook.com/note.php?note_id=382119439020&id=1371450101&ref=mf

my words~~

1. If you cannot do according to what you had promised, don't simply promise please~~
2. Don't expect everyone should follow your mood and try to distract people's mood~~
3. Don't say sorry after you did something wrong and hurt peoples because sorry can only make yourself feel better and run away from your responsibility unless you're a selfish person~~
4. Don't too excited when you get something because you might be more sad if you lose it~~
5. Happiness always come before sadness. So enjoy it before the sadness come to you~~
6. Don't try to get use to something in your life because you might feel difficult to let things go when the things no longer belong to you~~
7. Sometimes you cannot explain your behavior, there's no reason why because you just follow your heart instead of brain~~
8. There's no right or wrong in judging some behaviors~~
9. Don't behave like weather of England! Uncertainty is a bad attitude!~~
10. Please think the consequences before action and bear it as that's your responsibility~~


I'm always telling myself don't influence by others but end up, I failed to do so. I don't like this type of feeling but sadly, I always influence by people's that I care. Maybe you all don't know I can easily influenced by you all guys. Sometimes even before you all tell me what's happening, I already felt it. If I can choose, I hope that I don't have this kind of feeling. Can I be a human without this feeling?! So suffering!!!!!!

16 MAY 2010
11.50pm

呵呵。。。
想念真的是一种“病”！！！

我真的会担心耶！！！
从来不曾有过这种感觉。。。
不是自己的事情却那么担心~~
到底怎么了？！
我的心，感冒了吗？
有时候就连小小的事情都会在意并且影响我的心情。
这样的我，还正常吗？？

pressure??!

Final is around the corner...
I'm wondering how much that I can score in this coming final.
I'm telling myself, don't too stress like previous semester and don't target too high...
Hopefully I can do it.
Actually I'm ok when I stay away from the past year and revision notes. But once I touch the those revision materials, I'll feel the pressure. The pressure that either push me to continue my revision or pull me from revision.
Really hope to get better grade compared to previous semester. But I don't know whether I can do it or not... Especially business law, last subject to be tested.
Hmm... Must try my best to concentrate in doing revision. Must work harder compared to previous semester. Must get enough rest too!!!

Gambatte!!! TO B2G and all the course-mates.

呵呵。。。无知的我，真的好笨。。。
笨得以为自己可以相信，但事实好像不是这样。。。
看来信口开河，真的存在~~

好辛苦，好辛苦。。。
做人真难~~~

AIYO~~~

Sent 3 empty messages to one of my friend...but...
I'm not the sender.
Didn't notice that the keypad was not lock. So, my hp helps me to send 3messages for one of my friend without my permission... T__T
Luckily the receiver is someone i very close with. If not, I really don't know where to put my face d...
Celcom ah celcom, don't play play with me la... I'll get heart attack de leh... Like just now.

Sian sian, sorry o... Not my fault la hor? It's my phone fault. Continuous sent you so many empty messages. Later you thought I'm too free or miss you so much ma cham?!

Anyway, I really miss you de o!!! All of you~~

Hehe... Muacks!!! =))

Too BAD!!! Just TOO BAD~~~

心，好酸好酸。。。。。。

Combination again

Don't know why, suddenly felt like want to write something here...
I hate the word- sorry. very much!!! I don't know since when I started to hate this word. I even don't know why. I just know that I don't like it especially for those who are close to me. You know, sometimes when I receive the sorry messages, I will somehow feel so sad... and... it's hurt... I write it here just because I always received sorry messages from my friends. I really hope that I won't receive such message because some of the sorry messages can cause me cry. Even you all really did something to me which is wrong or what, but I would rather you all just keep quiet and don't say sorry... Maybe sometimes I'm the one who always say sorry to you all... Can you all just accept my apologize but try not to say sorry to me?! sigh......

**********************
I'm not happy...
Really not happy...
Maybe some of you might felt that I'm super ok nowadays as I never complain to you all. I'm just try to keep everything to myself. I knew you all cannot help me anything and maybe some of you might scold me if you all know what's going on. Don't ask me after reading my blog please... I don't know what to say and what to tell. But the most important thing is should I tell??
Hmm... don't know. Believe me, I really don't know.

**********************
That day, first time ever, I felt that I had changed. I thought I can accept but I cant! I thought I wont care much about it but I care! I thought I'm selfish in everything but I'm not! I thought I will be fine but I'm not... Before that, I really wont care so much things. I'll just behave the ways I want to be and do whatever things that I like. But now, I'll force myself to behave the opposite and try my best to cover it. I dare not to show others about what I care and I dare not to trust a person in everything. Even when someone told me or promised me about something, I wont trust him/her 100%. That's just because I scare if I trust it but end up he/she break the promises, I'll get the disappointment. Maybe this is the way I used to protect myself from being hurt. But, am I right? Is it this is what I suppose to do??

**********************
I'm tired... very tired... mentally and physically tired.
I'm still thinking about the prediction... Really hope that it's a positive prediction but I'm always think about the negative...
I don't want to stay alone. Alone means I'm free and I'm able to think this and that. I hate that feeling... hate it very much...

**********************
People, don't do something that force me to hate you... You know, the feeling if you hate your friend especially someone that you care... it's so pain. Pain because of the feeling hate. Pain because we cant treat each other as usual. Pain because I care you but I have to force myself to hate you...


@friends, what I wrote today are what I had kept inside my heart for quite sometime. The people and someone I mentioned above not necessary means all of you. Just read it & that's already more than enough.@

忐忑不安 =((

I'm no longer 'me'...
Nowadays always struggling with assignments and other stuffs.
Trying hard to concentrate but... cant.
I cant feel my soul... T__T
For those who concerned about me, sorry...
I just want to keep it for myself.
And one more thing, my quote: "I just want to be myself" seems like hard to do it recently.
All the best to those who struggling with assignments and problems^^
To those who concerned about me, thank you & I love you all =))
Mommy & my doggy too, I love you=))
Thank you for be with me all the times~~

我的心情和外面的鞭炮声一样乱~~

personality tests result =.=

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like serious
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Smart
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Determined people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don't judge a book by its cover
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is very important in life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to study hard
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You're a practical person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Will choose a secure job with a steady income
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Knowing what you like to do is important
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Find a regular job doing just that
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You'll be set for life
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of failure
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

bla bla bla......

Found out a lot of things today. It's good to know more so that I able to continue my analyzing with those statements that I found. The truth and also the 'procedure'. Perhaps I can figure out more things soon. 1st time, I hope that my six sense is wrong and I don't want it to happen. Don't want!!! I really hope that your prediction is the correct ones. Even though I told you before I don't think of it but sometimes my NO is actually a YES. I'm blind? NO!!! If I'm blind then I won't see things clear and also cant see the facts. I wish I'm blind. So that I no need to see those facts which will affect my heart to do some 'somersaults'. The feeling is so so much 'special'. The hypothesis of my test from true to false or even from false to 'failed'.

Everyday read the useless predictions and also the message from GOD which I get from the fb application. I wont believe those things but I'm just cant stop myself from reading it. What should I do? What can I do? Lavy said the only thing can help me from this is rat poison... Make me think of the euthanasia which I watched in the movie "death note". XD =D =)) >.<

sot dy...... tonight 'bai ti gong', must pray well lol... I cant remember how many times that I prayed during this cny... hopefully pray more can solve everything la~~~ lalalalalalalala

度日如度年=((

“我的问题没能解决，伤心。但你的痛苦和伤心却淹没了我的伤心。那时候，我的问题似乎已不再是个问题。”

complicated feeling during cny =((

The 1st day of cny... Hmm... not bad as i said i wont get back the same disappointment like last year. And something good is the word "disappoint" not really appear on my mind. Enjoyed my 1st day of cny... with mom, grandma... family members^^

2nd day of cny... busy as usual. visited here and there non-stop. the only break was the night where I enjoyed my ice-cream at mcd. Thx to the doggies that cheer me up and pulled me from the slpy worms=) kylie & champion kawaii neh~~~

3rd day of cny... nothing special. I'm just enjoyed driving here n there even though traffic jam. From home to bkt gambir then home then new sunshine then home then pulau tikus then home... tired but i'm happy when dinner with mom=))

4th day of cny... went gurney with 2 friends. Hmm... Met honey & wanseang there^^ so lucky and happy too la. Playing cards with friends. I think I had prove that if ur brain full of problems when playing cards, the probability that you lose will increase. It's true... Happy to met my sis, joan today!!! miss u all so much =D

5th day of cny... gathering with F5 friends. Enjoyed the night with them. Happy to meet those I never meet after graduated. Actually i hope that the traffic still jam when I go home. Just because I want to enjoy the music and do some thinking... but but but... the traffic so smooth... ishhhh...

I don't know how to comment this cny because my mood is not there. Failed to find my mood and I don't think I able to find it. Erm... I think mommy felt something wrong with me. If not she wont simply told me those theory after I draw the 'prediction ang pow'. The main problem that I would face in this year... i'm worry...
Last year and this year... the big changes... I'm sorry... sorry for everything which I'm wrong. I don't know what to do to get back those feeling. Believe me as I, myself also don't know what's going on. I knew sometimes what you said and discuss just because you worry about me. But... did you know how pain is my heart if I heard something from others which not supposed to say from you. The expression that I don't want to see or even don't like it... the way you treat me and talk me... really disappoint me. Still remember you're the one who share everything with me and you're the one who comfort & accompany me when I'm moody but now... seems like all had become past tense. you & him had become past tense so do you & me...
Thx for sharing with me, my problems... u, u and u... Sorry for cant stop myself from thinking, every minutes, every seconds. Don't worry, I'm fine.

DOn't worry, bE happY =D

cute cute champion ^^


cute cute kylie =))

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! :))

my feeling 1

Cant find my new year mood...
just wonder why my mood couldn't turn on.

I'm trying...
trying to turn it on but...
failed.

new year just like normal day to me...
nothing special.

compared to last year,
this year looks different and feel different.

Last year, disappointment came to me on d 1st day of cny...
hopefully no disappointment for this year.
even though i wont get the same disappointment,
but still dun wan d word "disappoint" appear on my mind.

i just want to relax my brain for a day.
but... can I??
wondering...

Hmm... it's time to start my busy day.
continue at night after my reunion dinner~~
enjoy... everyone~~

YOU'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND =))

我的空间=））

趁着大扫除，终于要回了原本属于我的空间！=D
超开心的。。。因为我真的很需要这个空间。
一个只属于我的空间^^
失去个人空间快三年了，想要回也想了一年多。。。
昨天，好一个二月的第一天终于如愿！
希望这个美好的开始可以为我带来好运咯！只求一切顺利~~
欢迎回来，我的空间。
我思考，发泄甚至情绪失控的地方。
待在我空间的感觉真的很不一样哦！
虽然有时候会感到很孤单和寂寞，
但是在里面可以做回自己。。。
在只需要面对自己的空间里，我似乎更容易的陷入思考状态。
不停地想想想。。。直到入眠。
嗯，是时候进入我的空间咯！
晚安=D
希望可以睡得很好但又可以爬起来上课^^

我。。。

生日咯！！！
对自己说声 happy birthday=）
还有跟妈妈说声辛苦了，谢谢你这么辛苦的把我生出来。。。爱你哦！
今年总是感觉不一样。。。好像少了点什么。。。
生日愿望其实也和往年没多大的分别。
今年的生日是我最没有期待的一年，
感觉就好像是普通日子一样过。
和普通日子不一样的是今天会收到一些朋友的祝福！
谢谢哦！所有的祝福信息，留言，礼物等等。。。
其实要我开心真的很简单。
要知道，当我不小心看到朋友的记事本或是小日历有在1月26日当天标记“盈生日”，
我就会开心一整天咯！！！
因为这代表着我被人重视着，我并没有被人遗忘掉=）
超开心的^^
好吧！大一岁了，说说想做的事情。
-驱逐掉我身上的懒惰虫
-在课业上多花点心思
-不想整天呆在家里=（
-改掉不好的坏习惯
-努力做好自己的本分
-改变！！！我要改变！*很多方面要变得更好*
-快乐的度过每一天
-可以很勇敢的面对所有的问题和烦恼并尝试解决它（这可是需要老天的帮忙哟！）
-好想有一些疯狂的举动*我接受范围内的*
-希望可以尝试更多新鲜的东西~~

呵呵。。。目前就这样吧！想不到了@@
希望我所希望的都能实现~~~
要笑哦*smile*

22.01.10^^

busy but happy day^^
I dyed my hair in the morning. 1st time ever to dye my hair... honey orange, my new hair colour... good try o!!! Hmm... thx to my "hairstylist" who help me to dye my hair. Good job o! Err... I like the colour very much, dun worry~~ Really appreciate ur hard work. SO rush still help me to do all the things... Thanks & sorry~~~

Outing with college friends in the afternoon. Thanks ya guys... for the early b'day celebration dat u all planned for me. I really enjoyed it...*happy* Afternoon lunch at sunrise pizza hut, walk walk at gurney, red box(almost 4hrs o^^), visiting hard rock hotel, dinner+supper only home...

I really enjoy the moment with them... Happy and really can put the problems aside and throw the sadness away. I like to sing with them, shout inside the room, dance, jump, laugh and so so on... I found that it's really fun if you choose those songs that everyone can sing... some old disc or even some classic songs... sing, shout and dance together^^

I should thanks u all here again... ks, kl, yw, kw, sk n kat, thx o!!! *kamsahamida*

here u r... few photos to share =D

my b'day cake XD


group photo: *guys from left* yw, kw, ks, kl
*girls from left* kat, me, sk


playground?! hard rock hotel:*from left* sk, kw, kat, me, ks.

combination again~~

Alr more than a week I din update my blog. Really busy and tired after started the new sem plus a lil bit of lazy... Busy because of the time table: wed 9am-6pm, thurs 9am-8pm. Crazy~~~ Busy because of outing with friends. But I do enjoy this kind of busy life^^

Watched paranormal activity with friends... Hmm... it's a low cost horror movie that v actually pay to get shock and suffer inside the cinema. But luckily I knew that's just a movie but...... unfortunately I'm not sure whether it's a movie that edited from a real story or it's just the imagination of the author. I watched it 2days ago but I'll still think of the scary scene when alone especially at night. When wind blow and when see shadow in the dark... Well, one of my friend said:"RM6 is worth because at least v got "something" to see..." It's true!.. At least I can remember the scenes well @@ "too" well i think...

Ohya, this horror movie better the another one LOTS!!! Don't waste ur money in the movie names Carriers. You watch nothing inside... NO beginning and no ending. We should thanks to the person who suggested this movie ~.~

Yesterday, went to wedding dinner with mom and her friend at maple palace. Not a bad dinner overall. It's just a quiet dinner because i don't know what to say so just kept quiet there. Err... listened to the songs, play with my hp and of course dreaming^^ I think if I can choose, I'll choose to go to another wedding dinner which held on next saturday. I think I'll be able to meet my old friends there and I wont be so quiet like yesterday night.

Hmm... not really in good mood today. Watched dvd's and think of the the past and the present. I don't think I able to back to last time... I really felt not so comfortable... don't know what to say and don't know how to enjoy... The feeling is not there anymore. Today, I read something that shocked me. Sorry, sorry for perli u when i don't know what's goin on. Sorry for din notice ur post and so so on... Sorry~~

It's time for me to stop blogging d... Too much for today... continue when free +.+

Title? X needed~~

Just want to release some tension here...
I thought I'm ok with watever things after I wrote all my problems in a piece of paper 2 weeks ago.
But now seems like it cant work again this time.
I'm still think of those stupid stuffs.
Piggy, you solve your problem?
I don't think so... You need more time? Me too!!!
Sometimes, I'm telling myself:" I should think this way instead of the other way. It's a must for me and I don't have any other solution besides this. But... I'm still......"
I know I could do it if I want to but the problem is I don't want to do it. So what to do?
Just leave it since that's already a problem.
That's the only thing that I can do now.

Hmm... back from genting trip wednesday night.
I want to write something about the trip actually but... now seems like I can only continue it in my next post.
No mood to write it now.

Oh ya, results released yesterday...
Nothing for me to write it here.
I should work harder next sem to get a better results.
Gambatte!!!

2.01.10~~

Just want to write something before go in to sleep.
I want to sleep because last night cant sleep well...
Went to gurney today~~
shop shop there but shop for nothing@@
want to pack my things for genting trip but lazy :P
Going to genting tmr night but now still haven prepare my luggage *ooOps*
I still got many many things to do ah!!!
Oh My~~~
now only remember some important things to do!!!
I should stop here and continue after my trip la~~

Hopefully I can enjoy my trip lol^^
HOpe dat I can slp also la>.<

p/s: kathy dun miss us too much ya! enjoy ur Singapore trip with ur bf ya!!! XD

goodbye & hello

再见了，09年。。。
很漫长的一年。
度过了很多的风风雨雨，也经历了很多事情。
很快乐的一年，很快乐的21岁生日。
虽然不满意的地方很多，但改变的似乎并不少。
09年的回忆很多，多得不知怎么写。
总之就是复杂的一年吧！。。

哈罗2010年~~
很期待的2010年。。。
期待所会发生的事，期待会改变的东西。
想要改变的能在今年完成吗？
会是顺利的一年吗？
日历换了；年份换了，我依然是我吗？
希望一切的一切可以很顺利。。。
加油！！！

Happy 2010!!!